Out of Touch

It's been several weeks since my last post.  So much has happened in my life over the past month, I have found it really hard to feel the tug in my heart from just a mere month ago.  I feel very disconnected with my life, my heart and my soul.  My emotions are one giant tangled ball of yarn. 

I heard a song today, it has stuck with me all day. The song is about going back home, back to the house where you grew up and I cannot help but wonder if the singer is right.  Does living in just one house, one home during your entire childhood affect someone so deeply? 

I happen to believe that it does, I believe it gives you a sense of belonging.  It creates a path, a path that can be retraced and shared with your children later in life. 

All the little things that seem so insignificant at the time will someday make a really great story.  The steps outside with your tiny handprints imprinted, the door frame with your height marks, your favorite hiding spot. 

Our family was not fortunate enough to have just one house, we moved around almost every 2-3 years until I was 17 years old, I married and left home right before I turned 18. 
Now that I have my own family, I realize that I want that for my children, I want them to have a hometown, a house where they grow up until they leave for college, a place full of memories to carry inside their hearts forever.

"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokeness inside me might start healing.  Out here it’s like I’m someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself.  If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave, won’t take nothing but a memory...from the house that built me."  Miranda Lambert